I’m sure anything that seems bogus is in my head. He’s sanctioned by Oprah for pity’s sake. Do I think I know more than Oprah?

Anne Murray’s voice could only soothe me so much on that scratchy brown couch, but I would make the best of it. I always did. What choice did I have?

I despised my stomach for as long as I had a stomach. So why did my son love it so much?

Pancakes were always waiting when we got home from church, I just always assumed they took a church amount of time to cook.

Aunt Rose said Grandma was a liar. If you dropped me into this scene as a child, I might have agreed.

The sensation of nicotine and late summer air hitting eleven-year-old lungs is as close to heaven as I’ll ever come.

How low can you go? Wait, that’s too low.

Turns out there’s a lot in a name.

I got it right this one time. And then never again. It turns out.

For Pete’s sake, somebody help me.

The Wide Shot should have been your first clue to watch from a distance. A far distance.

I mean, YOU called ME, dude. I don’t know what to tell you.

Also, you’re not THAT gangly.

I know! I’m as surprised as you are!